Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Come back. Shots need mouths.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
