You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
