i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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