Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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