Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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