No awkward lesbian experiences without me
one two three fourrrrnication!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
