Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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