I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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