Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
