it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
