Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
