So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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