so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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