Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm sobbing to NWA
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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