do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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