he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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