I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
