Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
