i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
