That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
