hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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