I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
