This girl is more easily done than said...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
