I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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