so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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