used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
