i jhust puked up my retainher.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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