Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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