people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
