if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh god it's open bar.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
