The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
