My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
