I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize