Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
