whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
