hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I touched a dick in church today
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
