Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
