I heard we made out
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
