sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
