How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
