I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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