Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it's great music for shaving your balls
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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