the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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