I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
