I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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