i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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