dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
MIDGETS
????
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
