ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
