i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
