Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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