Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
so much tequila, so little girl.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
