You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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