One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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