We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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